Thursday, July 27, 2017

keeping it wonderful

in the past couple of months i've been learning a lot about myself. that sounds a little silly, but its true. i've been discovering things that are truly enjoyable to me, and things that i am learning to let go of because they aren't important.
something i've discovered is that i am very passionate. i feel everything very deeply. i almost just started crying writing that. i'm not sure why, but feeling everything very deeply is sometimes a bit overwhelming. (this sounds a little ridiculous writing. a little dramatic maybe, but its really just how i feel). when im happy (which is thankfully most of the time) i am so so happy. i get butterflies because life is just awesome. 
& when im sad, i feel it and it feels so so sad. 
& thankfully i don't get mad too often, but when i do, i feel like i could hold a grudge for forever. bless my sweet husband because my grudges are usually only against him (which i understand that is not how it should be, but that is just what happens) he is so patient with me & i am a LOT better at not holding grudges (thanks to my love) as long as i used to be able to. 
& then there is the worrying. i am a worrier. i always have been & i always will be. i've come to accept that, and often have to pray to my Heavenly Father to send me comfort & help me know everything will be ok. i am a professional at making even the most wonderful thing a worry. and sometimes this dark feeling rushes over me at random (anxiety) and it just feel cloudy, which i then become sad about basically nothing. 
i've learned and am still learning to trust in my Heavenly Father with every single bit of me because he is constant, and knows what is best for me & the best ways to help me. 

& back to me being passionate. over the last couple of months i've discovered these extremely strong feelings towards social media. especially instagram. it is such a wonderful place to stay connected with friends & family. or to grow a business. or just to journal (which i do, and post to my hearts content). however, it just keeps coming to my attention more & more people lusting after other people and their lives. im a woman. and mostly only follow other women. so the majority of lusting that i've seen is obviously between women. it makes my heart feel anxious and sad. 

when i see these comments "can i be you??" or "goals" or "give me your ....." & the list goes on, i start to think about Heavenly Father. I think about how he made us each individually so different. HE MADE US. How cool is that. He Our Father in Heaven made US!!! He is perfect & has knowledge of all, & he made us the way we are because that is who he needed here on earth. not for us to be pining over someone elses looks or life. He made us to become our best US. not our best somebody else.

now speaking to my babies (and future babies): please oh please remember your individual worth. please oh please remember that you don't need to take a perfect picture to be happy. when we are all up in heaven one day we will have the opportunity to look back at our lives, & we aren't going to be looking for the perfect pictures we took. we will be looking at what good we did & if we did any. please please please remember that YOU are enough. you are you because that is who i need. who your daddy needs. who your future spouse needs. who your future children need. and who your Heavenly Father needs. i dont know what life will be like in 15+ years, but i have a feeling things are going to progress in the social media department & i pray that we all can remember to use social media for good. to spread this gospel. to update our families & friends on life. & to find people to serve or someone who might need to be uplifted.

i feel like i'm completely scattered right now. hopefully this all makes sense.

social media is a wonderful place but can also be scary, & i just hope to keep it wonderful always.

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